Word count 303

                                             

I wonder about figures of speech.  Let’s dissect similes (unless they are metaphors – I’m a mathematician, not an English major, and I’m not even a good mathematician).  Ok, to be honest, some of these are just phrases.  We could choose high, aerodynamic or sexy, but let’s do ‘easy’ now.  I may analyze others later.

Easy as Pie or Piece of Cake.  First, why couldn’t it be ‘easy as cake’ or a ‘piece of pie’?  Both are largely interchangeable desserts.  Not only that, but what is particularly easy about pie or cake?  They can be messy to eat and difficult to make.  I don’t get it.  Toast is an indisputably easy food, but instead of saying ‘easy as toast’ or ‘slice of toast’, we say he/she/it is toast meaning he/she/it is in a bad way.

Easy–peasy.  What is particularly easy about peasy, and more to the point, what the hell is a peasy?  Is it a small pea?  It is something that is pea-like?  I don’t know.

As easy as falling off a log.  Well it certainly is easy, but its salient feature is pain.  As a clumsy person, I’ve fallen off many logs.  You can hurt yourself badly.  I might have killed myself one time except for wearing a hard hat.  You want pain; straddle a log that you fall on.

As easy as shooting fish in a barrel.  What about ricochets?  Not only is this activity dangerous, it is most certainly unethical and possible illegal in some jurisdictions.  The fish don’t see it as easy; they see it as pain or death.

You may ask what a good metaphor would be for easy.  Toast has already been mentioned.  Another candidate could be ‘writing a Short Humour piece’.  I think that the preceding has proved my point.

Motivation at the beggining of the story. Appears in Short Humour and Writer’s Egg.