Allegations

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                                      Bill Tope and Doug Hawley

Rumors of Military Insider Dealing Extends Beyond Trump Sons

President Donald Trump’s two oldest sons are alleged to influence in selling military weapons. Accusations proliferate that Eric and Donald Trump Jr. are profiting due to the identity of their famous father.

The US Air Force recently signed a weapons procurement deal with a company backed by the Trump progeny. That company, Powerus, supplies interceptor drones. Donald Jr. obtained a board seat shortly after election of Donald Sr., nearly two years ago.

The Trump sons hold board seats or an economic interest in nearly a dozen weapons manufacturing concern. All the Trumps insist that nothing is amiss and that “all laws are being adhered to.” Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche said Friday, “I believe them. They’re Trumps; they wouldn’t fib anymore after being caught so many times previously.”

In February 2026, Eric Trump invested in a pending merger between Xtend, an Israeli-founded drone company, and JFB Construction Holdings, a Florida-based construction firm.

Xtend, a Pentagon contractor since 2020, was tapped to provide drones in the purchase of $1.1 billion worth of one-way attack drones by 2027.  When at war, the military needs a large continuing supply of armaments, so it will need many more orders of drones.  Xtend has guaranteed to meet that demand.

Eric denied involvement. He maintains that Xtend is in reality a male sexual prolongation balm in which his father, the president, holds a propriety interest. The formula for the cream was supposedly developed by Dr. Oz.  When contacted by Trump’s current and a few of his previous wives, they claimed Trump must not have used Xtend, and made of gesture of thumb and forefinger an inch apart.

Other political figures have become involved in allegedly shady government procurement schemes as well. House Speaker Mike Johnson was implicated Saturday in development of an “anti-immigration” drone which is capable of detecting skin color which is “too dark”.

The reusable drone, developed by Johnson’s “Lickspittle LLC,” can also seek out and destroys suspected illegals, based on the presence of a “beaner signature,” or scent of bean burritos.

When confronted, Johnson denied knowing what journalists were talking about, but did note that Lickspittle LLC was going public in August. “I wouldn’t be left behind if I were you,” said the Speaker.

Also entering into the military procurement fray is former DOGE maven and world’s richest human Elon Musk. Musk appeared in Pretoria last week to announce formation of a 50,000-man White Guard, an all Caucasian army composed exclusively of native Afrikaners.

In a press release, Musk, who has assumed the title of “Gauleiter,” said, “The White Guard will go anywhere; fight anyone, for any or no reason. All that matters is the client’s financial liquidity.”

Anonymous sources indicate that The White Guard will eschew drones and other technological elements of battle, and instead rely on “Old School” techniques of war.

Musk is alleged to be in talks with Secretary of War Pete Hegseth to take more than 400,000 over-age or obsolete landmines off Hegseth’s hands. These landmines are intended for subsequent deployment in third world countries on in southern U.S. states.

While officially remaining mum on the encroaching scandals, President Trump got into the act himself. Contacted on the seventh tee at Bedminster where he was alleged to be “getting things in order” for Melania’s eventual interment, Trump addressed the issue head-on.

“I know,” said Trump, “that a boycott of munitions sales to Russia is in force. However, I signed an executive order erasing this unnecessary prohibition. Trump added that Donald Jr., company, Powerus,” had sold more than $4 billion in one-time use attack drones to Putin.  In return, Putin bought ten million US voters.

“They had good results, too,” he said. Trump recounted that, in four years of war “Against the godless Ukrainian Nazis,” Russia “killed more than 16,000 civilians, including many, many children. You gotta consider,” said Trump, “that these are the Fascist-Nazi-antifa leaders of the future, so it’s all good.  Even worse, there were millions of Ukrainians that did not accept that they were a part of Mother Russia.

“Donald Jr.’s drones are particularly effective against old-style structures, like classroom buildings,” said Trump. “The explosive charges impel the building to collapse in on itself, burying the inhabitants. It is,” he said again, “all good.”

Unfortunately, the President’s aid to Russia’s attempt to bring the Ukraine back into Russia didn’t work. NATO without the United States has decided to support the Ukraine. After losing several battles and thousands of troops, Russia has sued for peace and has committed to withdrawing from the present boundaries of the Ukraine.

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