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You too can be a writer in a few short days with no prior experience.  That is what is known as a hook – something to pull the reader in.  How does one become a published author, you ask?  Quick answer – Short Humour, a British online publisher, will take anything meeting the description in the title.  “Before the Wright Brothers were famous for flying, they had a South Pacific clothing factory called ‘Two Wrights Makes Sarong’”.  Short Humour has now published 46 of my gems, starting with Marital Dialogues, and includes the smart car series.  You could also try a Portland Old Boys (a once a month breakfast group) talk.  For example, “Mad(ison) Men” from one of those talks appeared in Wilderness House.  This is an adaptation and expansion of one of those talks.  My story of being in an Oregon Hospital And Science University balance study “Balance”, is a story that I’m trying to place and the basis for a talk at POB.

Per title, I’m definitely an amateur.  Until I took a useless (for me) online writing course last year, the last previous time I had any writing instruction was college freshman English.  So far, I have received no money for writing, despite having theoretical possible payments.  Receiving money was complicated by not having Paypal.  Because this is a hobby, not being paid is not a problem.  I spend a little money, but it is much cheaper than collecting cars.  My main expense is going to happy hour with my editor when I’m accepted or published.  I’d be broke if I went to happy hour whenever I’m rejected.  

In order of importance, I want to express my ideas, do it well, and get published.  I don’t want to write something purely to get published. 

I’m not a real writer, but I play one on the internet.  That explains a lot of what follows.

In the spring of 2014 while on a work party in Tryon State Park in Oregon with a colleague, I wondered what we would do when we could no longer do the physical things that we were doing.  At that time I was frequently lame, literally.  He didn’t have a plan B.  I decided I wanted to write.  A little later I was impressed / depressed / inspired by Cheryl Strayed’s “Wild” –  impressed by her writing and her journey, depressed by her problems and how little I had done compared to her and inspired to write myself.  I was then more determined to write and also to explore my past and embark on some adventure.  This is foreshadowing.

“Wild” is a perfect Oprah Book.  It has loss – divorce, mother dying – hardship – the Pacific Crest Trail hike with bad boots – regret – drugs and promiscuity all followed by a happy ending – new husband and writing success.

Physical adventures are limited by creaky joints and a fondness for easy chairs and flush toilets.  I have written some memoir things and I found out why an old flame dumped me.   I wrote “Mad(ison) Men” about a high school reunion, “Behind The Portland State College Bowl” about the PSC record setting team, and “Freedom” about an encounter with baby goats, have found a home, but at Wilderness House in Western Massachusetts of all places.  “I Won’t Take Manhattan” about my time at Kansas State University 1968-69 ended up in Synchronized Chaos. “Birthday” tells what I know about a member of the folk-rock group “The Association” who died by overdose.  Wilderness House didn’t like my fiction as much as the memoirs.  To protect the privacy of the old flames the stories about them uses all pseudonyms including that of the author.

Now for the back-story.  A few years ago I was selected for the second round of Oregonian community columnist.  After a feud with the editor, I quit in the middle.  I had written some things in 1996 and 1999.  My artsy friends were not impressed, but they are dead now.  My original writing may have been inspired by competition with my sister, the mystery novelist.  The 1996 stuff was so old that I had to get our computer expert to open the files.  At the time I wrote the old stories I must have been very bloody-minded – they cover death, suicide and mutilation with a little biography of non-existent people.  Before then I had written my company newsletter in the 1980s and 1990s.  It was supposed to sell my software and services, but I grew tired of that and mostly did jokes and commentary.  From 1998 to the present I have volunteered at a bookstore which introduced me to a lot of writing, good and bad.

I started re-editing and completing the old stories with my live-in editor Sharon and writing “Wild” related stories and then I looked up publishers on the internet.  After the first 3,000 vanity press entries (possible literary license to lie), I found a listing of literary journals.  The more approachable can be the training wheels or training bras for new writers.  My first sources had no information about the acceptance rate, so they didn’t help much.  After seeing suggestions to use Duotrope, I got a source of more likely journals. 

“Literary” means few want to read it.

 There are three major categories for literary journals – creative nonfiction, fiction and poetry.  Minor categories include audio, video and art.  “Creative non-fiction” does not mean farm reports.  I mostly submitted fiction.  Lengths include blogs, 50 word stories, and more commonly flash (usually a thousand words or less, but sometimes more creative such as 1234 or less), short story, novella / novelette and book length.  Some are specialized such as horror, women, LGBQT, travel, regional, whatever, but most are general.  Format requirements are all over the place.   Mostly you don’t pay to submit and they don’t pay for your stories.  Simultaneous submissions are the norm, but multiple bundled submissions per journal are not.  The majority of publishing is on line.  Most journals won’t accept something that has appeared elsewhere.  There are more than 5,000 journals and they are mostly minor publishers that go in and out of business.

I started to submit.  Hardly any journals want paper submissions.  The major methods are Submittable (a program some magazines subscribe to), other minor submission programs, attached files to emails and embedded stories within emails.

My initial submissions were the “Wild” related and my old stories.  I had good luck with old stuff; all of my old completed stories have been accepted for publication, but very bad luck with the “Wild” stories initially.   Now Potluck has published “Wildest” (then in Short Humour) and “Mild’ which is also in the Dirty Pool in a longer and better form.  To be safe, “Mild” was also put in Short Humour. “Professor Haines On Cheryl Strayed’s Wild”, which appears in Down In The Dirt, is mostly a hatchet job on Oprah nation.

“Bike Killer”, one of the first things that I wrote in the 1990s, was also the first to be accepted.  Hash magazine was to publish it in December of 2014, then March and then July.  I’ve given up on them and Duotrope declared them defunct, but Nugget Tales and then Yellow Mama took it later – the Yellow Mama editor had a bad history with bicycles.  Of the other early stories “Elevator” (500 suicides) went to Insert then Yellow Mama, and “Leg” (extreme daddy issues) went to Insert then Down In The Dirt; “Tapes” (prelude to suicide) went to Potluck and “Better Living Through Electronics” (nerd life) went to Potluck and then Wilderness House after their suggested revisions; “A Life Examined” (a reprobate’s last words) was picked up by “Fiction On The Web”, and “Soul” (does it exist?) was published in two pieces in  Oblong and Wi-Files.  The second part was accepted by Oblong, before the first was accepted by Wi-Files.  Soul was made in two pieces because I wanted both parts to be flash.  The unified pieces are now in Down In The Dirt.  After falling a little short of the Guinness Book Of Records for rejections, a cleaned up version of the very gross original “Mirrors” (a more feasible Stepford Wives) was published by AWS then Down In The Dirt and “Cats’ Religion” was published by Dual Coast after I added a better ending.  My first version of “Mirrors” was quite risqué and was never published.

Most of those stories have had a second life either because the initial publication is gone, or just because I could get away with it. 

Many reviews were good, but “A Life Examined” was criticized by a reader because there was no character development.  The publisher agreed that character development is not always realistic.  My example of misuse of character development would be for Hannibal Lecter becoming vegan.

Potluck, which gave a lot of initial support is closed now.  The last thing of mine that they took was “Half”, a story based on my second favorite way to die.  Oblong was declared dead, but still has my story up.  Insert has had a checkered life.  Wi-Files does not respond well.  Stories in Dual Coast can only be read by buying the magazine and I try to avoid that.

Individual journal acceptance rates vary from 0 to 100% according to Duotrope.  Duotrope wisely asserts that 0% acceptance rates are based on inadequate data and high acceptance rates could be exaggerations.

Rejection in writing submissions is not nearly as bad as in relationships.  Some are encouraging, most are boilerplate and a few are insulting.  You may be rejected because you submitted to the wrong place, or your story is just no good.  One rejection was from a mistaken submission to a lesbian porn magazine.   I tend to think of those with high acceptance rates as sluts, and the ones with low acceptance rates as prudes, but I would never let a publication know that.  I tried a lot of things to aid my writing.  An online writing class, a professional editor and a critique meeting were largely wastes of time.  I got some help from my live in editor, comments from friends and potential publishers and growing a beard.  Despite the comments, I don’t resemble Santa Claus – I’m not the least bit jolly.  A big help was finding Duotrope for $5 a month that tells you about most literary journals and approximately how long it takes to get a response and how likely a submission is to be accepted.

In order of preference, my favorite journals – 1.Publish me (a few), 2.Allow simultaneous submissions (most), 3.Have no format requirements (many), 4. Respond quickly (some), 5.have both kinds of publications – paper and free online (Down In The Dirt), 6.Encourage reader feedback (Fiction On The Web), 7.Add good artwork (Yellow Mama, Literally Stories, Story Shack), 8.Advertise your stories (many on Twitter), and 9.Allow multiple submissions (a few).

 The ideas come from a number of places.  I could imagine that my wife left (“Deal” in Fiction On The Web, then Down In The Dirt), someone accidently kills someone and ends up killing three more (“Trigger” also in FOTW)), how we are tricked into wars in Asia (“War” first in the defunct Subtopian, then in Down In The Dirt), or how to demean talk shows (multiple stories).  After reading a horror anthology while in Yuma Arizona, I wrote three horror stories.  “Nightmare Or Zombie – You Choose” is in Jitter Press, “Marriage” is in Penny Shorts and Yellow Mama; and “Violators” was in AWS and now in Yellow Mama. 

“Here” is the fictional biography of a self help guru that originated in the idea that “Are we there yet?” is too negative.  It was followed by two other stories that make up the Vernonia Trilogy (I like the sound of the name of that Oregon town), Eagle (a happy rock story) and Spenser (first Libertarian president – they called it Spencer).  All three were in AWS and are now hard to place orphans. 

Yellow Mama (named after the electric chair in Alabama) is a favorite publisher and has taken the majority of things that I have submitted to them.  The editor and I are a mutual appreciation society.  My most recent stories there are Shower Of Power (problem house), Dig (the story of murders in a park) and Cell (variation on an old joke which first appeared in Nugget Tales).

The process varies.  “Mild” was written in my head while working in local Tryon Park.  “Trigger” started with a simple crime and became a puzzle to turn into a story.  Sometimes I have a list of plot points and I’m finished when I use them up.  Humor arrives unannounced.

My only problems are plot, characters, exposition, grammar and dialogue.  Sometimes the characters tell their stories directly and sometimes there is exposition.  There is no consistent point of view.  The characters are mostly middle aged, somewhat educated white people.  The protagonist frequently resembles me – about forty years old and tall (these are total lies – But Raymond Chandler didn’t look like Philip Marlowe either).  Unlike me, he is usually a stupid man who makes bad choices.  Sometimes I foolishly write in a woman’s voice.

Main male protagonists are frequently named Duke because family legend has it that my father wanted to name me that after his favorite dog Duke, but my mother prevailed with a name that was close to Duke.  Duke Hanley is something of an everyman alter ego that gets in situations that I wouldn’t.  Main female protagonists are usually named Sally because the three closest women to me have or had names starting with “S”.

I usually try not to tell too much with the titles – “Reprieve”, “Old”, “Trigger”. 

Sharon, my live in editor, does editing for grammar that Word doesn’t find and problems with flow or sequence.  I usually ignore most other criticism because I’m always right, and mostly avoid figures of speech, adverbs, adjectives – I’m a minimalist.  Things are only described if relevant to the story.  Richard Heby of the Beechwood Review introduced me to Chekhov’s Gun, a good bit of advice.

After cleaning up the stories from the 1990’s and the “Wild” stories, I branched into relationship / soap opera stories, polemics, memoirs, horror, speculative fiction, essays, humor and you-name-it.  All fiction starts with “what if”.  After some initial success, I had a long dry spell, but now things have picked up again.  Overall rejection rates are about 90% and I’m competing with literature majors.     I was hot at Potluck, Fiction On The Web, Insert, AWS, Bitchin’ Kitsch, Nugget Tales and Subtopian, each of which has published at least a couple of stories.  Now they are defunct, no longer supporters or told me not to submit.  FOTW is an exception in that it recently took the orphan story “SHORT”.  Oddly many, maybe most, of my stories are in UK publications.  Before and after Subtopian, I had no luck with Northwest publishers.  I have two approaches to submitting now – either start off with publishers most likely to accept or ones which are fastest to respond.  In a couple of cases, stories have been written in two parts and the shorter second part was published first.  My general approach when I was actively writing was to submit to two journals and do another submission for each rejection.  Sometimes, but not usually, I rewrite after a rejection.  When accepted, I withdraw all other submissions.  Four stories have been accepted twice because of poor record keeping.  Sometimes new journals, such as Potluck may have been more accepting because they have not had a lot of submissions yet.

With the polemics I tried to make a political or social point in a fictional setting.  Besides “War”, Subtopian took “Reprieve” which suggests that our survival as a race may depend on 90% of the people dying (they made great art work for the story).  “*lr*d” suggests that we picked the wrong god, “Do Nothing” applauds governmental inaction and Intelligent Design (questions about the intelligence) went to Potluck then Down In The Dirt. “ATTACK” (Nugget Tales, then Synchronized Chaos) wonders about the wisdom of being the world’s cop.  “Californication” (Nugget Tales then Synchronized Chaos) riffs on a recent article suggesting massive future movement from California to Oregon.  I messed up with “Candidates’ Diary”.  Bitchin’ Kitsch objected to grammar in a diary.  I rewrote it and resubmitted to BK.  Then I rethought the absurdity of editing language in a diary and withdrew it and sent it to Short Humour.  I should have had one version in BK and another in Short Humour.  I got my first acceptance in Australia for “Short” in Ariel Chart, but they pulled it from publication.  There will be no more submissions to BK or AC.

Two of the speculative stories are “What” (nominated for a Pushcart) which is about hearing problems and appears in the first edition of Beechwood Review, and “Dark” which is beverage fan fiction in Potluck.

“Deal” (accommodation in Fiction On The Web then Down In The Dirt), “Prodigal Father” (sudden grandfatherhood in Synchronized Chaos), “Swingers” (daisy chain relationships in AWS, then Red Fez), Jen” (bad romance in Nugget Tales, then Down In The Dirt) and “Switch” (the player gets played in Bitchin’ Kitch, later in Red Fez) are the relationship stories.

“Old” is a magic/tragedy/humor/romance hybrid which appeared in Fiction On the Web.

“smart car” (Fiction On The Web) is about a car which is not only smart, but emotional.  After “smart car” got favorable comments, I started writing sequels and kept going until I had fifteen episodes.  FOTW was disinterested so I moved them to Nugget Tales.  In some order, Corner Bar took an edited version of the whole series, there was an unauthorized Russian version and Short Humour took all of the episodes.

“Scenes” (AWS, then Down In The Dirt) and “Die” (Bitchin’ Kitsch) are contemplations about mortality.

By this time, I’d run out of categories and specific plots that I wanted to handle, and just did whatever occurred to me.

I wouldn’t write young adult, romance, rocket ships, cops, private detectives, time travel, vampires or werewolves without a $10,000,000 advance.  I won’t spend much time on research, but I did a little for “*lr*d”, “Coots” (Bitchin’ Kitsch then Short Humour) and “Intelligent Design”.  Sometimes I use my experience in insurance, mathematics, rejection, music (big song collection and talented live in musician) and hiking in the stories.  Stories which strongly reflect their location are usually set in Oregon, which is my home.  My fascination with the evolution of cars affects my writing.  As an old man, my nearness to death is reflected in many stories.

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A quick look at my submissions shows around fifty of the publications to which I submitted are now either on hiatus or defunct according to Duotrope, the main publication that covers literary journals.  Around seven of the journals that had accepted my stories are defunct.  I regret the loss of some because the artwork that went with the stories is no longer available.  The first of the publication deaths was Subtopian, which quit responding to any inquiries and then disappeared after taking “War” and “Reprieve”.  I miss their art work. Scarlet Leaf, my second Canadian publisher after AWS, took Reprieve and Down in the Dirt took War.  Many publishers have a short life span I have learned, and getting accepted may mean that your story won’t be available long or at all.

Despite getting most of my leads from Duotrope, not all of my publishers are listed there.  Insert, Swings And Roundabouts and Nugget Tales were not in Duotrope.  S&R and Nugget Tales were good leads that I got from becoming a twit (@dougiamm), except that both are dead now.  Insert, after publishing a couple of my stories, went on hiatus, but has restarted lately.

Nugget Tales was my go to publisher not only because they encourage me, but they have art, a list of blog likes and reader comments.  They must have a truly international readership from their base in Manchester England, because the blogger likes come from Africa and Asia as well as the U.S. and Europe. Nugget Tales has been the place for of my multiple story series.  “Californication” had five episodes published, but was orphaned.  The aforementioned “smart car” has fifteen episodes.  “Cell” (torture – now in Yellow Mama) published there was one of my short stories with twist ending, similar to “Dark And Stormy” (gothic – now In Short Humour).  My attempt to get the insect horror story “Fly” into another journal for Halloween didn’t work, but Nugget Tales took it.  Now Commuter Lit has it.

The Californication series allows me to vent about the wretched writing in our local newspaper, the Oregonian.  The Oregonian is probably only one example of the horrors in mass media.  The newspaper seems to have decided that “affect” and “effect” need to be eliminated and replaced by “impact”.  It is apparent to them that all group names must be followed by “community”.  There is no longer any such thing as “scientists”; there is only “the scientific community”.  Likewise, there are no “problems” or “mistakes”, only “issues”.  And. Clauses. Are. Gone. Replaced. By.  Short.  Choppy.  Sentences.  Beginning.  With.  Conjunctions.  Somehow the undefined, overused “People Of Color” shows political correctness, while “Colored People” shows racism.  Am I a “person of color” if I’m pink-brown-white and have an aboriginal ancestor?  To be clear, it is the term to which I object.  Sometime “pre” was converted to “early” from its original meaning “before”.  “Hopefully” is used hopelessly.

My inner curmudgeon believes that these changes are consciously or otherwise meant to lower the level of intelligence of Americans and create a non-judgmental society.  It is a part of the abhorrence of competition, the “everybody gets a participation trophy” cabal, and a movement from using writing to convey knowledge to using it to avoid clarity.

Rudolf Flesch, creator of the Flesch Test (not as much fun as it sounds) to measure readability is largely to blame.  He wrote a formula which emphasized short sentences with short words for ease of reading.  As an actuary I had to write contracts which got good Flesch scores.  I suspect that media use something like that to produce low grade prose.   

The preceding rant was sponsored by @dougiamm.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled story. 

Writing sequels follows the Hollywood pattern of lowering production costs and continuing a winner until it dies at the box office.

Swings And Roundabouts took the short sci-fi series “Ray”, “New Mexico” and “Worldwide” then died.  Now the series is in Down In The Dirt.

“Court” about religion shopping has an interesting history.  It was turned down by Donut Factory, a publisher in Berkeley across the San Francisco Bay from where we used to live in Marin, but then they reversed themselves.  That was the only time a decision has changed without an intervention by me.  In the meantime, Story Shack had accepted it.  After some back and forth, I found that both could publish it because Story Shack (my first Netherlands publisher) is strictly online and Donut Factory is strictly paper.  Another first is that I will consult with an artist for the Story Shack publication.  My second Story Shack publication was “Spin”, a spin on classic science fiction, “The Day The Earth Stood Still”.

Down In The Dirt is a favorite .  They have both of my stories under a pseudonym and took “Meds”, a crime story, “Sensate” (a stab at new age) and “Asteroid”, the unification of the Swings And Roundabout series.  “Asteroid” appeared in an eponymous paper magazine of theirs.  After AWS died, they took “Testament” (legal humor).  At one point in 2014, I thought that my writing would be done that year.  Down In The Dirt books including some of my stories will be published until 2019 on paper, which extends my writing to four plus years.  Some of their future issues will have two stories of mine, and all of my online stories in Down In The Dirt will appear in one to three magazines.

“Gate”, one of the stories in in Synchronized Chaos, opens up a secret society.

Probably because I met a Sasquatch on Mt. Hood (I have a picture to prove it), I wrote series of six interviews called “Prime” with abominable snowmen (they prefer Angwin) which appeared in Occulum with good art.  I surprised they took it because I’m not their kind of writer.  Because Occulum may not continue, the “Prime” episodes 1-6 are in Short Humour.

I succeeded with my first effort at Literally Stories with “The Dumb”, my parody of bad Stephen King, and followed that up with “When Planets Miss” (a riff on 1950s sci fi), “Cat Of Hanley” (part of the reanimation series),” Nose” (bonkers show business) and “Better” (flames “reality” shows).  “Better” (from Nugget Tales) was offered in parental guidance to LS but they took the sanitized version as did Down In The Dirt.

The Hanley reanimations series is scattered.  The first three episodes are in Fiction On The Web, the fourth is in Literally Stories and the last is in Synchronized Chaos.

Potluck had supported me early, but had not accepted anything lately until “Half”, the story of a limited life.

Rejections are usually not a problem.  One publisher wanted correct grammar in dialogue, which made no sense to me, and then I got a rejection from them based largely on comma placement in a very short story, even though two humans and Word had accepted the placement of commas.  I had no idea about the value of the story other than the alleged excess or deficiency of commas.  It was a comma-dy that left me comma-tose.   I made it clear that they would hear nothing more from me, when I should have withdrawn quietly.  I subsequently apologized for my churlishness.

“Brave New Word”, a possibly humorous approach to rejection which referenced the Terminator obliquely is in 365 Tomorrows.

When I just want to get something published and I have a bit of humor sitting around, I send it to Short Humour.  I thought I might be overdoing it, and then heard that the publisher was welcoming the one hundredth publication from one of their authors.

Of my horror stories “Shower of Power” is a version of haunted house stories and “Dig” a murderous turn on my park stewardship, which have been accepted by Yellow Mama (the nickname of the Alabama electric chair).

“House” in Scarlet Leaf is a multi-genre story with crime, sex and humor 

“The Other Side Of This Life” is a break from genre themes which ended up in Scarlet Leaf.  “Dump” about the future of a bad unnamed president was hard to place because most journals were not fond of political fiction.  It ended in Eskimo Pi after many rejections.  Eskimo Pi has not cared for anything else from me.  “Ubik” was inspired by a story and movie that I remembered from more than fifty years ago.  The alien plant genre is fairly small, but I wanted to do it.  “Ubik” (Storyland) doesn’t resemble the plants in “Day Of The Triffids” much beyond being alien plants, but that was my plan.  “I Dream Of Satan” (Soft Cartel) opens up romantic disaster and lost nightmares.  Soft Cartel also took my somewhat autobiographical story of love and loss “Final Frontier”.  Wagon of India accepted “I Dream Of Satan” after Soft Cartel did.  Wagon did not do reprints and I really wanted my first Asian publication, so I wrote a similar story “Universal Journey” which Wagon then accepted.

Finding the Canadian Dirty Pool turned out well.  Before they took a break, they published “Mild” as mentioned, “Pass” about the pain of choosing a password, and “Bomb” which introduces Jimbo Bomb.

“Vigilant” in Literally Stories is narrated by a new superhero, the Curmudgeon and is based on the peeves of the author.  Commuter Lit also took it.  “Here”, one of the Vernonia Trilogy that was in the defunct AWS, is in Scarlet Leaf.

 “Barberian” based on a haircut became a very short rom-com in the third issue of Furtive Dalliance.  It was my third try at FD and it seems to be the charm.  “My Kind Of Town”, meta fiction about a horror writer’s inspiration is in Down In The Dirt.  The horror “Welcome” is in Commuter Lit. “Amnesia” in Wilderness House is based on my real amnesia and the metaphorical cases throughout history.  “Licorice” was once split into two stories, but has been consolidated and published in Medium.  It is my version of “Lost World”, but with extrasensory perception and without dinosaurs.  The last two are the only ones never published anywhere yet.  While searching for a new plot, I found that someone had requested a sequel to Literally Story’s “When Planets Miss.  That led to the earth’s survivors landing on Renn in “Extraterrestrial”, also in Literally Stories.  I combined those two LS stories into “Three Planets” which are in Cafe Lit and Eskimo Pie.

“Barberian” will also get a brief 10 minute show in the annual “Flash Flood” online show of flash fiction.

Two space stories, were written about the same time, “Space Force vs. Space Squids” in response to the new publication “Space Force” and “Brave Newt World” inspired by watching the third version of “The Thing From Another World”.  “Brave Newt World” was read at a Synchronized Chaos meeting in Portland and was published therein.  By mistake, “Space Force vs. Space Squids” was published there also.  The story that I started to write for the Synchonized Chaos reading ended up being “smart car 16 – Unification”.

“Inpler” (the future of the English language – Potato Soup), Altared States (partly autobiographical romance gone bad – in Bull & Cross, my first Spanish publication), “Interview” (god talks – in Café Lit) and “Balance” (Wilderness House) are my recent efforts.  My quest for getting reprints continues “Switch” and “Jen” and “Gate” (Written Tales), “Half” (Down In The Dirt), “Do Nothing” (Eskimo Pie) “A Life Examined” (Yellow Mama), “Dark” (Commuter Lit) and “Ubik” ( Corner Bar).

Sam Kandej has been a huge help.  He set up blog https://doug.car.blog/ which includes all of my writing under my name and two others that have some of my writing: https://tale.code.blog/ with “Final Frontier”, “Lessons” and “I Dream Of Satan” and https://flashfiction.ir/ with “Bike Killer”, Cat of “Hanley” and “What?”.

From reading a lot of short stories on the internet, I perceive that there are two basic kinds of stories.  There are stories with a plot.  Those are my kind.  There are stories with feelings and ambience.  Those are not my kind.  Despite my preference for writing stories with a plot, I can enjoy reading either kind.

Some might say “I can’t choose my favorite story.  It’s like choosing my favorite child.”  I can choose.  “Old” is my favorite story, because it connects to places that I know and has a lot of different things going on.  I wouldn’t write something I didn’t like, but “Old” touches more bases than the rest.

Some submission facts:

 “Prodigal Father” took 2 minutes to be accepted at Synchronized Chaos and 3 days to be published.

When “Soul” was accepted at Oblong I was surprised to find out I was a British writer.

With a couple of exceptions, publishers have not offered a chance to rewrite after a rejection.

Wifiles published one of my stories without letting me know it was accepted.

One publisher was rejecting so many stories, my rejection showed up in junk mail.

I made a mistake of submitting to the prestigious local publication “Tin House” which I later learned had a Duotrope acceptance rate of .15% or one in 667.

I was surprised that my insider story about the record setting Portland State College Bowl team couldn’t find a local taker on the fiftieth anniversary of that event.  This writer is largely without publication in his own region to paraphrase.

Most stories are not inspired by the intended publisher.  An exception is “Open Letter To Cheryl Strayed” (Beechwood Review Issue 2).  It seemed ideal for Black Heart, which was looking for open letters to writers.  Two hundred or so days later I got a form rejection.  At that, I withdrew my other submission, “Coots”.  “Open Letter” ended up also being accepted at Bread and Beauty after 1285 days, a surprise and a record for me.

Some favorite authors – P.D. James, Jim Thompson, Dashiell Hammett, Stephen King and one “new guy” Dennis Lehane.

Writer Anecdotes:  The title “1984” was chosen by reversing the digits in the year it was written.  Sue Grafton named her hometown Santa Teresa in homage to Ross MacDonald’s fictional Santa Teresa (the real Santa Barbara).  Jim Thompson said there is only one plot “Things are not as they seem.”  Dashiell Hammett was the real thing, Raymond Chandler was not.  Neither was nice.   Ross MacDonald and P. D. James were different from most of the other mystery writers in that their stories went way beyond solving a mystery.  Stephen King can write faster than I can read.  After reading Robert Louis Stevenson’s work, H. Ryder Haggard claimed he could do better and wrote “She” and “King Solomon’s Mines”.

According to Duotrope I have 180 acceptances, 5 pending, 129 withdrawals, 8 never responded and 333 rejections (7/15/2019).  These numbers do not cover some magazines not listed in Duotrope, such as Insert and Nugget Tales.  I think of acceptances as hits, withdrawals as walks and rejections as strikeouts.  I’m not good at sports analogies.

My goal is to publish the “Doug Book” of collected writings without paying anyone to do it.  I don’t know if I have a novel in me, since I can’t get up to 1,000 words a day very often, but am slowly working on the Vernonia trilogy involving a fictional president, guru and rocker.  The one about the guru (“Here”), and the one about the rocker (Eagle) are serialized in AWS.  I’m planning to pull a Hollywood and do some sequels, starting with “Smart Car 2”.  I’d like to find a collaborator, a real writer to implement my wonderful ideas, or maybe quit.

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The listing of my writing got easier with a website https://sites.google.com/site/aberrantword/ , blog https://doug.car.blog/ and a twit handle @DougHawley8.

An earlier version was in AWS (defunct). AWS said the sequel was more like a blog. Good idea. From now on, I will update this occasionally.

Starting 11/29/2019 the change log will here at the end to make my life easy:

11/29/2019 Welcome is in Spillwords, Testament will appear in Wilderness House. Both are reprints.

12/27/2019 Short and Altared States appear in Written Tales

12/30/2019 Bhopal 2 accepted at Yellow Mama Industrial catastrophe

1/21/2020 Intimate accepted at World Of Myth Cybersexuals / Sex Robots work action

1/22/2020 Comparo in Short Humour and Old in Scarlet Leaf male literature vs. female

2/1/2020 Interview accepted Synchronized Chaos reprint

1/30/2020 Killer accepted Detritus Final Girl

2/14/2020 Woke Up Man rejects Nirvana for secular world

4/5/2020 Sam Kandej takes the very short wine associated story Optimism

for Short Tales

4/6/2020 Die reprint accepted by Down In The Dirt

4/8/2020 Trigger accepted by Dark Dossier (3rd publication)

4/11/2020 The Other Side Of This Life accepted by Cafe Lit

4/28/2020 Found And Lost (possibly an erotic fantasy of 100 words accepted by Detritus)

4/28/2020 Serial a greatly expanded version of “Killer” accepted by Yellow Mama accepted subject to changes

4/30/2020 Down In The Dirt accepts “Woke Up” in a few hours.

5/13/2020 Dark Dossier accepts “Meds” (3rd time) for Issue 49

5/20/2020 World Of Myth accepts reprint “Spin”

6/4/2020 Spillwords accepts “Reprieve”

6/9/2020 Down In The Dirt accepts “Intimate” in a few hours (after I submit 2nd time with attachment)

6/13/2020 Daily Drunk accepts “Funerunreal” after several other submissions. “Transformer” still hasn’t been accepted. “Trash Poem” has been submitted to the only likely journal, Trashheap Zine, and I’m waiting for Detritus to open for a drabble.

6/18/2020 Teleport accepts “Asteroid” after a rewrite. Added descriptions and made it clear that Bane was narrator.

6/20/2020 World of Myth accepts “Asteroid” as a two parter.

7/2/2020 A Story in 100 Words accepts “Found And Lost” drabble

7/3/2020 Down In The Dirt accepts “Funerunreal”

7/4/2020 Yellow Mama takes “Mortuary” for Valentine’s Day 2021

7/10/2020 Down In The Dirt accepts “Altarred States”

7/15/2020 Down In The Dirt accepts “Spin”

7/17/2020 Short Humour accepts / publishes “Run”

7/31/2020 Raven Cage accepts “Licorice”

8/2/2020 The Daily Drunk accepts and publishes “A Cat Who”

8/5/2020 Patricia’s Pen Sunday Writing Challenge accepts “Freedom”

8/7/2020 Short Humour accepts and publishes “A Cat Who”

8/10/2020 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Final Frontier”

8/11/2020 Written Tales accepts and publishes “Bomb”

8/20/2020 Spillwords accepts “Swingers”

8/23/2020 Written Tales accepts and publishes “Transformer”

8/23/20 Short Humour accepts and publishes “Cell”

9/1/2020 Dark Dossier accepts “Together Again” for its November issue

9/2/2020 Written Tales accepts “Fly”

9/3/2020 Crepe & Penn accepts “Amnesia”

9/11/2020 Eskimo Pie accepts “Space Force And Corona” for November 2020

9/14/2020 Short Humour accepts and published “Son Of Simon”

9/14/2020 Terror House accepts “Adair” for publication in November

9/17/2020 Down In The Dirt accepts “Son Of Simon” for publication 9/18/2020

9/19/2020 World Of Myth accepts “Adair” for 10/24/2020 publication

9/19/2020 World Of Myth accepts “Together Again” for 11/24/2020 publication

9/24/2020 World Of Myth publishes “Californication All”

9/29/2020 Raven Cage publishes “Son of Simon”

10/18/2020 Short Humour publishes “Teeth” after a delay based on wrong submission address

10/20/2020 Dark Dossier accepts “Bhopal 2” for publication in December

10/20/2020 10 Word Story accepts and publishes “Dangerous Dan”

10/20/2020 Raven Cage accepts “Trash / Lust Poem” for pubication

10/20/2020 Writer’s Egg accepts “Pass” and “Dig” for publication

10/24/2020 Stray Branch accepts “Welcome” for publication Fall 2021 / Winter 2022

10/28/2020 Short Humour accepts “Cat”

11/4/2020 Terror House accepts “Duke” for publication around 11/25/2020

11/6/2020 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Birthday”

11/16/2020 Writer’s Egg accepts “Style Sheet”, “A Cat Who” and “Easy”

11/18/2020 Terror House accepts “Paperback Writer” for 12/17/2020

11/24/2020 Corvid 19 confirms acceptance of “Reprieve” submitted 5/3/2020

12/07/2020 Extreme Drabbles of Dread accepts “Killer” for early January 2021

12/07/2020 Terror House accepts “Meeting” for January 4, 2021

12/11/2020 Dark Dossier 6th acceptance “Bike Killer” for issue #55. Fifth acceptance for “Bike Killer”, one not published, another defunct.

12/13/2020 Writer’s Egg accepts “Comparo” and “Teeth” for #6

12/21/2020 smart car 18 and 19 accepted by Short Humour after my first submission gets a wrong address again. Damn Hotmail.

12/29/2020 Dark Dossier accepts “Paperback Writer” for #55 in February 2021. DD has become my go to for crime and horror now that Yellow Mama is way backed up.

1/2/2021 Terror House accepts “Undercover”

1/2/2021 maysam accepts “Heroes Day smart car 21”

1/7/2020 maysam accepts “What?”

1/18/2021 Writer’s Egg #7 accepts “Balance”

1/20/2021 50 Give Or Take accept “Hired Killer”

1/27/2021 Raven Cage #53 accepts “Dead End” and “Ghosted”

2/1/2021 Supernatural Drabbles Of Dread accepts “Myth”

2/24/2021 Short Humour accepts “Marital Dialogues 1”. It is a mystery why this was not submitted years ago with part 2.

2/25/2021 Raven Cage accepts “*lr*d” and “Dark”

2/26/2021 CafeLit accepts “Dark”

3/4/2021 Written Tales accepts “Afterwife”

3/6/2021 Short Humour accepts “Afterwife”

3/8/2021 Eskimo Pie accepts “Wildest”

3/9/2021 Maysam accepts “smart car 23 Easter”

3/12/2021 Spillwords accepts “Files”

3/14/2021 Short Humour accepts “smart car 23 Easter” and “smart car 24 Saint Patrick’s Day”

3/18/2021 Written Tales publishes “Do Nothing” updated

3/18/2021 Subjectiv accepts “Brave New Word”

3/18/2021 Writer’s Egg #9 accepts “Marital Dialogues12”

3/18/2021 Terror House accepts “Black Lagoon”

3/20/2021 Raven Cage accepts “Half”

3/22/2021 50 Give Or Take accepts “Lost”

3/22/2021 World Of Myth accepts “Better Living Through Electronics”

3/29/2021 Literally Stories accepts “Half”

3/29/2021 Short Humour accepts “smart car 25 Fool”

3/30/2021 Down In The Dirt accepts “It’s Back”, “Details” and “Dead End”

3/30/2021 maysam accepts smart car 25 Fool

4/12/2021 Corner Bar accepts “Three Planets”

4/12/2021 Synchronized accepts “Mercy”

4/16/2021 Horror Sleaze Terror accepts a longer “Dark And Stormy”

4/26/2021 Down In The Dirt accepts “Meeting”

4/27/2021 Five Minutes accepts “Coyote”

4/28/2021 Raven Cage accepts “Switch” and “Short” part of the defunct Written Tales diaspora

5/13/2021 A 100 Word Story accepts and publishes “In Tents”

5/14/2021 Terror House accepts “Curmudgeon” and “Mirrors (the filth version)”

5/14/2021 World Of Myth accepts “Mirrors (clean)”

5/14/2021 Spillwords accepts “Duke”

5/16/2021 Eskimo Pie accepts “Jen” with comment

5/19/2021 Short Humour accepts “First”

5/19/2021 Writer’s Egg accepts “Wurst” and “Guess My Age”, “Dangerous Dan” deferred

5/28/2021 Down In The Dirt Accepts “Some Who Wander”

6/1/2021 The Chamber accepts “First”

6/11/2021 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Berries”

6/28/2021 Short Humour accepts “smart car 27 Independence”

6/28/2021 Down In The Dirt accepts “Newport”

6/30/2021 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Legal”

7/2/2021 Maysam accepts smart car “27 Independence”

7/9/2021 Dark Dossier accepts the alt horror version of “Newport”

7/12/2021 Down In The Dirt accepts “AKA Kerry”

7/14/2021 Sirens Call accepts “Violators” and “Shower Of Power”

7/19/2021 50 Word Stories accepts “Myth”

7/20/2021 Purple Walls accepts “Camping”

7/20/2021 World Of Myth accepts “Brave Newt World”

7/24/2021 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Brave Newt World”

7/28/2021 Terror House accepts “Curmudgeon 2”

7/28/2021 Median accepts “Space Opera”

7/28/2021 Short Humour accepts “Space Opera”

8/3/2021 Strange Religions Anthology accepts “*lr*d”

8/14/2021 Story In 100 Words accepts “Untethered”

8/20/2021 Free Flash Fiction accepts “Undercover”

8/23/2021 Terror House accepts “Curmudgeon 3”

8/28/2021 Spillwords accepts “AKA Kerry”

9/4/2021 Horror Sleaze Trash accepts “Good Demons” consisting of first five episodes.

9/7/2021 Dark Dossier Halloween Issue accepts “The Afterwife”

9/16/2021 Maysam accepts “smart car 28 People’s Day”

9/17/2021 Short Humour accepts “smart car 28 People’s Day”

9/24/2021 Terror House accepts “Back In The Saddle”

9/25/2021 Clever accepts “Portland Pondering” for its Portland Issue

10/1/2021 Castagnette accepts “Good Demons”

10/5/20021 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Rolled And Stoned”

10/8/2021 Brown Bag accepts “Beauty” and “Barberian”

10/9/2021 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Ageless Love”

10/18/2021 Spillwords accepts “Violators”

10/21/2021 Coin Operated Zines accepts “Violators”

10/28/2021 Dark Dossier accepts “Serial” and “Back In The Saddle”

11/1/2021 The Stray Branch accepts “Adair”

11/2/2021 A Story In 100 Words accepts “The Many Loves Of R. Penniman”

11/2/2021 Stray Branch accepts “Meds”

11/3/2021 Sirens Call accepts “Nature” and “Better Than Nightmares”

11/10/2021 Raven Cage accepts “I Dream Of Satan” and “Final Frontier”

11/30/2021 Synthetic Chaos accepts “Them Changes (quoth Buddy Miles)

12/05/2021 Terror House accepts “Curmudgeon 4”

12/07/2021 maysam accepts “smart car 31 Christmas Eve”

12/09/2021 Short Humour accepts “smart car 31 Christmas Eve”

12/22/2021 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Stranger One”

12/28/2021 Scarlet Leaf accepts “Spenser”

12/31/2021 Dark Dossier accepts “Home Again”

1/3/2022 Writer’s Egg accepts “Dangerous Dan”

1/6/2022 Spillwords accepts “Mercy”

1/15/2022 Corner Bar accepts “Licorice” with kind words

1/17/2022 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Cage”

1/20/2022 Down In The Dirt accepts “Final Frontier” and “Valentine’s Day Massacre”

1/21/2022 Raven Cage accepts “Transformer” and “Silly Love Songs”

1/31/2022 Literally Stories accepts “Valentine’s Day Massacre”

2/4/2022 Terror House accepts “Betty’s New Boyfriend”

2/6/2022 50 Word Story accepts “Errands”

2/25/2022 Raven Cage accepts “Leg” and “Elevator”

2/27/2022 Stray Branch accepts “The Afterwife” and “Nightmare Or Zombie”

2/28/2022 Dark Dossier accepts “Killer Killer”

3/6/2022 Pure Slush Lifespan series Work accepts “How To Become An Actuary”

3/13/2022 Black Poppy accepts “Lake”

3/22/2022 Literally Stories accepts “Final Frontier”

3/23/2022 Nail Polish accepts “Summer Green”

3/24/2022 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Read My Shorts”

3/28/2022 Dark Dossier accepts “Lake”

3/30/2022 Creativity Webzine accepts “Good Demons” combining “Monster, Mermaid, And Me” and “Betty’s New Boyfriend”

3/30/2022 Spillwords accepts “Bike Killer”

4/1/2022 Free Flash Fiction accepts “A Cat Who”

4/15/2022 50 Give Or Take accepts “Errands”

4/17/2022 Literally Stories accepts “Space Opera”

4/20/2022 Medium publishes “Bomb”

4/21/2022 A Story In 100 Words publishes “Mother’s Tears”

4/24/2022 Flash Fiction IR accepts “Newport”

4/26/2022 Dark Dossier accepts “Camping”

5/8/2022 Short Humour accepts “Brave New World”

5/10/2022 Flash Fiction IR accepts “Brave Newt World”

5/11/2022 Free Flash Fiction accepts “Moonless” but it is jerked after one day – FFF is not my friend

5/12/2022 Down In The Dirt accepts 10/17 of “Read My Shorts”

5/14/2022 Nail Polish accepts “Licorice Canary”

5/16/2022 Sirens Call accepts “In Tents Summer”

5/20/2022 Terror House accepts “Sniff Test”

5/20/2022 World Of Myth accepts “Paperback Writer”

5/22/2022 World Of Myth accepts “Space Force vs Space Squids”

6/3/2022 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Just Looking”

6/12/2022 Written Tales 2.0 accepts “Freedom Or Freedumb”

6/13/2022 Down In the Dirt accepts “Do Nothing”

6/17/2022 Short Humour accepts “smart car 32 Some Enchanted Evening”

6/17/2022 Terror House accepts “Rescued From Aliens”

6/21/2022 Synchronized chaos accepts “Freedom Or Freedumb”

6/23/2022 Dark Dossier accepts “Return to Belle Lake”

6/24/2022 Literally Stories accepts “Killer Killer”

7/7/2022 Down In The Dirt accepts “Killer Killer”

7/18/2022 Down In The Dirt accepts “Rescued From Aliens”

7/22/2022 Wilderness House accepts “Freedom Or Freedumb”

7/27/2022 Paragraph Planet accepts “Cruise”

8/8/2022 Raven Cage accepts “Sniff Test”

8/16/2022 The World Of Myth accepts “The Dumb” and “Soul12”

8/17/2022 50 Give Or Take accepts “Safe”

8/21/2022 Written Tales 2.0 accepts “Bomb”

8/26/2022 Dark Dossier accepts “Rash”

8/29/2022 Down In The Dirt accepts “Dig”

9/11/2022 Written Tales accepts “Autumn Lawns And More”

9/13/2022 Dark Dossier accepts “Candy”

10/18/2022 Spillwords accepts “Candy”

10/20/2022 Down In The Dirt accepts “I Dream Of Satan”

10/22/2022 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Kidney”

10/24/2022 Written Tales 2.0 accepts “Class Act”

10/25/2022 Fresh Words International accepts “Crunch”

11/4/2022 The Stray Branch accepts “Paperback Writer” and “Together Again”

11/5/2022 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Kingdom”

11/10/2022 Paragraph Planet accepts “Shelter”

11/23/2022 Fresh Words has a video of “Crunch” on YouTube

11/29/2022 50 Give Or Take accepts “Butterfly”

12/5/2022 Creativity Webzine accepts a longer version of “A Cat Who”

12/12/2022 Literally Stories accepts “Pool Of Dreams”

12/21/2022 Short Humour accepts “Spam”

12/21/2022 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Not Roadrunner”

1/3/2023 Fresh Words accepts “Son Of Simon”

1/5/2023 Written Tales accidentally accepts “Crunch”

1/16/2023 Tuxtails accepts “Lover”

1/16/2023 FOTW accepts “Prodigal Father”

1/19/2023 Sirens Calls accepts “Camping” with edits we missed

1/22/2023 Literally Stories accepts “Amnesia”, first non-fiction of mine in LS

1/24/2023 50 Give Or Take accepts “The Devil’s In The Details”

2/17/2023 A Story In 100 Words accepts and publishes “Chair” with an error

2/19/2023 The Stray Branch accepts “I Dream Of Satan” and “Rescued From Aliens”

2/21/2023 Synchronized Chaos accepts “True Or False”

2/27/2023 Raven Cage corrects yesterday’s Pool Of Dreams rejection to acceptance

2/28/2023 Spillwords accepts “Rescued From Aliens”

3/2/2023? Down In The Dirt accepted “Ageless Love”, but I don’t know when

3/4/2023 Pure Lifespan series accepts second story “Home”

3/21/2023 World Of Myth accepts “Nose”

3/21/2023 Maysam accepts “smart car 33”

3/21/2023 Short Humour accepts “smart car 33”

A break in the routine – story collection “Weird Science” has a cover, ISBN for hardcover and paperback (digital?), and acknowledgement.

3/24/2023 Dark Dossier accepts “Pool Of Dreams” and “Oscar”.

3/30/2023 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Pitch”

4/16/2023 Down In The Dirt accepts “Gate” but I didn’t know it until 8/17/2023

4/27/2023 Literally Stories accepts “Brave Newt World”

4/27/2023 Written Tales accepts “1 Corinthians 13”

5/5/2023 FlashFlood accepts “Freedom” (formerly rejected by same)

5/13/2023 Cafe Lit publishes “Better Living Through Electronics”

5/17/2023 The Haven accepts “First”

5/18/2023 Piker Press accepts “The Other Side Of This Life”

5/22/2023 Raven Cage accepts “The Hanley Cycle”

5/24/2023 Freedom Fiction comes back to life and accepts “Frankecat”

5/24/2023 D2D accepts digital “Vernonia Trilogy” made up of “Heresy”, “Eagle”, and “Spencer”

5/29/2023 Pure Slush Lifespan Achievement accepts “Credit Where Due”

5/29/2023 Sirens Call accepts “Belle Lake” combination of “Lake” and “Return To Belle Lake”

5/30/2023 Dark Passions accepts “Rash”

7/23/2023 Spillwords accepts “Rejection And Redemption”

7/30/2023 Stygian Lepus accepts “Final Frontier”

8/22/2023 Sirens Call accepts “Fly”

8/25/2023 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Floating”

9/13/2023 Freedom Fiction accepts “Valentine’s Day Massacre”

9/15/2023 Horror, Sleaze, Trash accepts “Demon Therapy”

9/15/2023 Down In The Dirt accepts “Shower Of Power”

9/20/2023 Dark Dossier accepts “Mythology” for its Halloween issue

10/02/2023 Aphelion accepts “Old”

10/13/2023 50 Give Or Take accepts “Failed Feud”

10/16/2023 Written Tales accepts “Scatterbrain”

10/18/2023 Raven Cage accepts “Newport” and “Space Opera”

10/24/2023 Written Tales Nostalgia Chapbook accepts “Early Days”

10/25/2023 Piker Press accepts “Asteroid”

10/27/2023 Haven publishes “House”

11/1/2023 Stray Branch will publish “Moonless” in later 2024

11/5/2023 Freedom Fiction accepts “Trigger”

11/12/2023 Stray Branch accepts “Mythology”

11/13/2023 WOM accepts “Newport” and “Space Opera”

11/13/2023 Spillwords accepts “Inpler”

11/16/2023 Literally Stories accepts “Kingdom Collapse”

11/18/2023 Pure Slush Lifespan Loss accepts “DS”

11/21/2023 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Kingdom Collapse”

11/29/2023 The Haven accepts “Staff Meeting”

11/30/2023 Spillwords accepts “Solstice Savior”

11/30/2023 Short Humour accepts “Staff Meeting”

12/2/2023 Tiny Frights accepts “Killer”

12/6/2023 The Haven accepts “Park Bench”

12/7/2023 Short Humour accepts “Park Bench”

12/10/2023 Literally Stories accepts “Kingdom Collapse”

12/13/2023 Down In The Dirt accepts “The Assistant”

12/22/2023 Freedom Fiction accepts “Back In The Saddle”

12/24/024 Hotch Potch accepts “Riding Writers”

12/27/2023 A Story In 100 Words accepts “At The Bar”

1/8/2024 Literally Stories accepts “The Assistant”

1/10/2024 The Haven accepts “Death Row Magazine”

1/13/2024 Freedom Fiction accepts “I Dream Of Satan”

1/13/2024 Medium accepts “Inpler”

1/24/2023 Short Humour accepts smart car 34 & 35

Maysam Kandej is revising / replacing / expanding DougIR. Details as I know them.

1/31/2024 Freedom Fiction accepts “Crab Cocktail” in mimutes after Crab Tails took 111 days to reject it.

1/31/2024 DougIr has or will have all of the smart cars to date and “I Dream Of Satan”

1/31/2024 Raven Cage accepts “Crab Cocktail” and “Twin Sisters”

Giving up on dribbles for now. No takers. Will consolidate and try Synchronized Chaos and DID

2/2/2024 Down In The Dirt accepts “Riding Writers”

2/5/2024 Mantelpiece accepts “smart car 34 AI” a few days too late – sigh

2/5/2024 Literally Stories accepts “Twin Sisters”

2/13/2024 Mantelpiece accepts “smart car 34 AI” after it was withdrawn, but won’t run it because I got it into Short Humour and DougIR

2/19/2024 smart car 35 added to DougIR – all smart cars now there

2/20/2024 WOM accepts “Myth” and “Mythology”

2/29/2024 Synthetic Chaos accepts dribble collection “Mostly Dribbles” after I give up on the 16 being published individually.

3/6/2024 Down In The Dirt accepts “Death Row Magazine”

3/9/2024 50 Give Or Take accepts “Oval” after I thought I had withdrawn it

3/10/2024 Sirens Call accepts “Solstice Saviour” and “Crab Cocktail”

3/22/2024 Pure Slush Lifespan Retirement accepts “Free”

3/24/2024 Lance Manion accepts “Rescued From Aliens”

4/11/2024 Piker Press accepts “Oscar”

4/12/2024 CC&D accepts “Tapes”

4/17/2024 Written Tales accepts “Wheelock”

4/17/2024 Lance Manion accepts “Riding Writers”

4/24/2024 Spillwords accepts “Mythology”

4/26/2024 Dark Dossier accepts “Elevator”

4/27/2024 Pure Slush Lifespan Aging accepts “Age Test – You Might Be Old”

5/6/2024 New English accepts Seer

5/9/2024 Down In The Dirt accepts “Violators” another Halloween rerun

5/30/2024 Down In The Dirt accepts “Nose”

5/31/2024 Written Tales accepts “5820 NE 60th” for Chapbook XIII

6/10/2024 Hotch Potch accepts “New House”

6/10/2024 Sirens Call accepts “Welcome”, “Dig”, and “Ghosted”

6/20/2024 World Of Myth accepts “Twin Sisters”, “Rescued From Aliens”, and “Oval”

6/20/2024 Piker Press accepts “Seer”

6/26/2024 c,c&d accepts Amnesia

7/1/2024 Dark Dossier #91 accepts “Crab Cocktail”

Things picked up after a few rejections and never responded

7/14/2024 Horror, Sleaze, Trash accepts “Legal Affairs”

7/17/2024 Dead Girl Walking accepts “The Afterwife”

7/19/2024 cc&d accepts “We Quit”

7/29/2024 Raven Cage accepts “The Assistant” and “Kingdom Collapse”

8/1/2024 Horror Seaze Trash accepts “Meditation Monsters”

8/4/2024 Dark Dossier accepts “”Shower Of Power”

8/10/2024 Books ‘N Pieces accepts “House”

8/14/2024 Dark Dossier accepts “Hanley Cycle”, “I Dream Of Satan”, “Rescued From Aliens”

9/5/2024 Spillwords accepts “Deal”

9/11/2024 Coin-op Zine accepts “Kitty”

9/23/2024 Freedom Fiction accepts “King Arnold”

10/18/2024 New English accepts “Unity”

10/19/2024 Spillwords accepts “Adair”

10/21/2024 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Balance”

10/28/2024 Doug.IR accepts “Adair” and “Violators”

11/20/2024 World Of Myth accepts “New House” and “Wheelock”

11/29/2024 Brown Bag accepts “Damsel”

12/04/2024 short humour accepts “smart car 36 Solstice”

12/06/2024 Stray Branch Spring/Summer accepts “Die” and “Shower Of Power”

12/07/2024 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Unmerry”

12/08/2024 Raven Cage accepts “Unity” and “Trauma”

12/10/2024 Doug.IR accepts “smart car 36 Solstice”

12/11/2024 LereleiSignal accepts “Beauty”

1/1/2025 Books ‘N Pieces accepts “Trauma”

1/10/2025 Collaborative accepts “Then She Said” a mostly Bill Tope story

1/21/2025 Collaborative accepts “Adventure” a mostly Bill Tope story

1/23/2025 Haven accepts “You Might Be Old If”

1/31/2025 A Story In 100 Words accepts “Lights Out”

3/17/2025 A Story In 100 Words accepts “The Agony Of De Feet”

3/20/2025 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Cover Of A Book” yet another Tope – Hawley clabber

3/31/2025 Dark Winter accepts “Another Day” a Tope – Hawley clabber

4/3/2025 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Seen In Eastern Oregon”

4/7/2025 Spillwords accepts “Twin Sisters” 4/7/2025

4/7/2025 ShortcakeIR accepts “smart car 1” and “Bike Killer”

Same day two off color stories acceptances

4/16/2025 Horror, Sleaze, and Trash accepts “The Gymnast And The Night Demon”

4/16/2025 Lowlife accepts “Bar Demon”

4/24/2025 Down In The Dirt accepts “Trauma”

4/28/2025 Collborature accepts “Dracula’s Assistant”

5/8/2025 A Story In 100 Words accepts “School Days”

5/10/2025 Brown Bag accepts “Darrel Dragon”

5/11/2025 Written Tales accepts “To Dodge A Bullet”

5/11/2025 Lowlife accepts “Nature”

5/13/2025 Horror, Sleaze, Trash accepts “What A Diff’rence A Year Makes” another story for Truman (HST) get it?

5/22/2025 World Of Myth accepts “In Tents”, and “Belle Lake”

7/10/2025 Synthesized Chaos accepts “Class Of ’95”

7/20/2025 World Of Myth accepts “Nature”

7/24/2025 Down In The Dirt accepts “Suborned”

7/31/2025 101 Words accepts “All Over Now”

8/17/2025 Bright Flash accepts “Spoils” (Tope and Hawley)

8/21/2025 The Haven accepts “Morania Attacks”

8/22/2025 Short Humour accepts “Morania Attacks”

8/31/2025 Romance, Buds, And Butterflies accepts “The Home”

9/6/2025 Synchronized Chaos accepts “The Vorg”

9/6/025 Medium accepts “The Vorg”

9/12/2025 Tut Social Accepts “The Vorg”

9/23/2025 Sychronized Chaos accepts “Full Circle”

9/28/2025 Horror Sleaze Trash accepts “Back To Back Belly To Belly”

10/13/2025 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Summer Jobs”

10/16/2025 DougIR accepts “smart car 38”

10/16/2025 short humour accepts “smart car 38”

10/18/2025 Spillwords accepts “Fly”

10/18/2025 Synchronized Chaos accepts “Evergreen”

10/20/2025 Saragun Springs publishes “Leg”

10/21/2025 Saragun Springs publishes “Personals”

10/21/2025 Tut accepts “Through Other Eyes” (Tope – Hawley)

10/22/2025 Saragun Springs publishes “Interview”

10/23/2025 Saragun Springs publishes “Old”

11/3/2025 Stray Branch accepts “Dig”

11/5/2025 DougIR publishes “TheDumb”